a stranger in a strange land

I don't recall the source of the language in the title of my blog today.  But the words fit the experience I had today.

I took a walk to enjoy the glorious day, and to get some exercise, which isn't a big whoop, except to me, on my quest to lose a little weight and lower my blood pressure. 

I ventured out in the late afternoon, encountering snow, ice, puddles and mud.  The air was juicy with smells, which told little secrets about the people living in the houses as I walked by.  Someone was drying clothes, and the odor of dryer sheets was amazingly strong.  It hit me like invisible cloud of chemicals, and I cringed at the thought of breathing in someone's laundry.  The odors of french fries cooking in the local cafe, and the exhaust from an old beater of a car mingled together in my nose.  Someone was grilling burgers, and it smelled suddenly like summer!  The melting snow piles exposed the earth and the smell of mud was prevalent and pleasing.

The sounds of dogs barking, and neighbors calling out to each other startled me, as the noise came suddenly and out of now where.  The street lights started popping on, buzzing more loudly than I remember from last year.  I heard kids at the skate park, whooping and laughing.  Melted snow was running into the street drains and sounded like someone left the faucet on at the sink. 

This sensory adventure happens to me every year.  I avoid the cold of winter, so I spend my time indoors.  And I live alone, so I am surrounded my quiet in my home.  This explosion of human activity seems new and foreign to me in the springtime when it hits my ears and nose, so unexpectedly.  It seems that the world, and I, are waking up together and crawling out of our dens.  Of course, it is only me that is new to this strange new world.  The world has been awake all along. 

the beauty of sleep

I prefer to stay up late, and get up late.  I have early-bird friends, and I always wonder how they do it!  I always have to drag myself out of bed, and force myself to resist the urges to hit snooze - well, OK, just one more time!

The past two nights I went to bed about two hours earlier than normal.  Oh, the beauty of sleep.  Although I still did not want to get up right away, it felt good to feel more rested than I usually do. 

I would live a happier life if I could get up when I naturally woke up instead of using an alarm.  Add a few more 3-day weekends into the mix, and I could claim a blissful existence.   Until then, I guess I will have to snuggle in earlier...

women are getting it

It is gratifying to see that women are fighting back against the ridiculous idea of restricting women's health care.  Congratulations to the silent, and not so silent protesters in Virginia, who are making a huge impact on the legislative process there.

I totally support the right for the "faithful" to avoid using birth control, if that is important to them.  But their beliefs should not overrule the beliefs of others who don't share the same dogma.  Thankfully, we do not live in a theocracy.  Although it appears that Rick Santorum, and those of his ilk, would try hard to make it so. 

I was raised in an evangelical church.  We were taught to spread the "Good Word" to others.  However, I never was trained to believe that Christianity should trump the beliefs of all others.  (Don't get me started on how my grandmother viewed the Catholics, however.)   It seems that, of late, many Fundamental Christians are less and less tolerant of any other viewpoint than their own.  It seems that religion has gone to their heads!  The Jesus that I learned about as a child, would likely disapprove. 

I no longer participate in any organized religion.   But it doesn't stop me from trying to live by the Golden Rule, which is really just advice about putting yourself in other people's shoes, and walking a mile in them.  I also subscribe to the basics of being honest, and treating my parents respectfully. 

It would seem obvious that any religious tenet, taken to the extreme, becomes less like religion and more like a mechanism of power and control.  Many examples of this exist throughout time.  Today, when we think of ourselves as "evolved" and "sophisticated," how is it that we are still arguing about birth control, and the ability of women to control their own bodies?   

It will be up to women

I am in disbelief one minute and totally angry the next when I hear the talk about restricting women's health services.  Who in their right mind would seriously think about banning birth control? 

Although I disagree with folks who want abortions to be totally illegal, at least I can understand the moral ground they are defending.  But birth control?? 

Women need to stand up, and speak up about their own health care and reproductive rights.  Deja vu of the '60's and '70's.  Been there, done that.  Men need to also stand up to say that any thought of banning contraception is idiotic.

State of Virginia?  What are you thinking?     

back in the groove

Last week, I encountered a bad head cold, which has not happened to me for a long time.  It knocked my socks off.  (See previous blog entry about a little germ taking people down.)  I was out of the office for a couple of days, and the boss was gone, and the phones were way too busy and work piled up and... and....and.... Whew!

So today, I am trying to get back in a groove.  Plenty of work to do, but at least I can actually show some productivity!

I haven't blogged for a few days, and it seems very similar to any good thing that you stop doing for a while - it's hard to back into it.  Such as going to the gym, and then life gets complicated.  After a few days of laying off, it is hard to haul one's behind into the gym to restart the groove. Even when you know it is good for you.

scale phobia

There may be a scientific name for my phobia:  getting on a scale. 

Our agency initiated a "biggest loser" event for the purpose of motivating folks to lose weight and get healthier.  I am totally in favor of both of those goals.  I want to lose weight and feel healthier.  I think about it every day, multiple times a day.

Unfortunately, I have a horrible aversion to the scale, which of course, boils down to being ashamed of myself.  I cannot overcome the notion of getting "weighed in" and having someone record my weight.  I don't want to know what the number is, let alone have someone else know it, and record it in ink.  So no "biggest loser" for me. 

Shame is a powerful emotion.  I am overcome by it.  It is that part of myself that I need to shed.  As much as the actual pounds, I need to shed the old junk that helps me carry around my shame like a shroud. 

fragile and strong

Human beings are so surprisingly strong and weak at the same time. 

People can endure hardships that seem beyond survival.  Accidents, disease, malnourishment, torture...name the challenge, and you will find examples of humans finding a way to overcome the worst circumstances that could be imagined. 

And yet, humans are fragile.  A little germ, a seemingly innocent bump on the head, a stray bullet or a small clot can quickly kill a previously vibrant being.  A broken heart can take down the strongest of us.