scale phobia

There may be a scientific name for my phobia:  getting on a scale. 

Our agency initiated a "biggest loser" event for the purpose of motivating folks to lose weight and get healthier.  I am totally in favor of both of those goals.  I want to lose weight and feel healthier.  I think about it every day, multiple times a day.

Unfortunately, I have a horrible aversion to the scale, which of course, boils down to being ashamed of myself.  I cannot overcome the notion of getting "weighed in" and having someone record my weight.  I don't want to know what the number is, let alone have someone else know it, and record it in ink.  So no "biggest loser" for me. 

Shame is a powerful emotion.  I am overcome by it.  It is that part of myself that I need to shed.  As much as the actual pounds, I need to shed the old junk that helps me carry around my shame like a shroud.