and the day passed by...

I cannot believe that the day has gone by, and I have accomplished little more than searching the internet.  Nothing important, mind you.  Just slogging around looking at this and that, listening to new music, checking email.  Part of me says, "who cares?"  But the rest of me says, " Four hours wasted!!"

Now that it is dark, and none of my chores are done, I guess I will wait another day to be productive.  Meahwhile, my book is whispering my name.... and I must answer the call.

the decorations

Ahh, tis the season to enjoy all those holiday things...  I am actually a bah humbug kind of gal.  I buy gifts for people I love, and I bake a few cookies, but I really don't get into "it." 

However, I am a sucker for the light displays that people create at their houses.  I can't help but drive slowly by, and admire the colors and the twinkles.  Know that I would never create such a glorious display at my own home.  I see it as being way too much work setting everything up, but the worse would be taking it all down!! 

Kudos to those dedicated folks who give me joy every time I see their lights.  I appreciate all of them, from the humble, to the quirky to the extreme.  Thanks for giving me more joy than you know.  And Merry Christmas to you!

No room for complacency

It is appalling to me that all these conservative men are spouting off about women's health. 

Rape is just one of the variety of ways to conceive?  A pregnancy caused rape is God's plan? 
OMG!  

Perhaps I am in a time warp, and it is really 1950.  Or perhaps, those men are truly from Mars, or I am truly from Venus.  What other explanation can make sense of these absurd statements?

In their private life, I care not what these far-right conservatives believe.  But these are men who are seeking public office, and are promising to "legislate" their private beliefs.  Without resistance from those who disagree with them, these men seek to impose their personal (and likely their religious) views on everyone.

I hope that women are paying attention, and will make their voices heard in the voting booth.  There is much to lose if we are complacent.  

   

what is with me?

I have the hardest time making up my mind sometimes.  It is stupid stuff, like sorting my mail.  Keep or throw?  Too often I keep stuff that my more tidy friends would throw away without a second thought.   

The universe has poked me to reduce my clutter.  So, I started my project yesterday, and I have had constant thoughts about why I tend to postpone deciding what to do with certain things.  I am finding that sometimes I am just too darn lazy to deal with "it."  I would rather do "it" later.  Or, maybe I should think about "it" awhile before I know what to do with "it."  So, while I am waiting to make my decisions, I save up little stacks of this and that.  After my little stack has "aged" for awhile, I have no problem tossing the junk into the recycling bag. 

Oh, for Pete's sake!!

So it boils down to the fact that I am a "ponderer."  OK.  It seems that is my nature.  My task then, is to learn how to ponder faster!

And now on to my collection of crossword puzzles from the Sunday paper....

beets

I have conquered the tomatoes, grapes, basil, pears and parsley.  Now it is on to the beets.  And juicy, redness everywhere in my kitchen.  I find little red speckles in the most amazing places after I cook them!

Beets have such a sweetness on the tongue, and when combined with salt and pepper, they are amazing.  Cooking them makes my house smell like the earth.  Handling them makes me startled with just how red they are!  Even diluted, beet juice is so red that I find myself playing with it like a kid in science lab. 

Other than hauling the old vines away to the compost pile, the garden is done for the season.  I have once again grown a stellar crop of pig weed, quack grass, thistle and creeping charlie, in addition to some tasty vegetables.  I can only try to imagine how if feels to be a farmer who grows food on a large scale...bins and truckloads full of goodness.  My suggestion of the day:  kiss a farmer and say thanks for all the food we take for granted will always be there for us.  

tis the season

I have tomatoes coming out of my ears!  And peppers!  And grapes!

I am so appreciative of the bounty of my garden, and my daughter's grape vines.  I love that the goodness of these things can be preserved and enjoyed months from now.  But it is overwhelming!  I have jars and lids and pots and tomatoes everywhere, all demanding attention right now!  Did I mention the parsley and basil that need to be made into pesto? 

I always complain that it is too much work and too much pressure all at once, but I really like it.  Mess and commotion and bounty.  Thank you, mother earth, for all the goodness.

savages

It scares me that the collective "we" are acting more like savages than rational humans.  Rudeness abounds everywhere, from road rage, to politicians who lie about almost everything, to reality shows that reward cheating and scheming.  People are carrying hand guns everywhere claiming their need to defend themselves.  Murder and sexual crimes are glorified in multitudes of TV shows.  Bullying and fighting are pervasive.  And on and on and on.

Where are we headed?  What does all this look like to our nation's children?  I am alarmed and saddened that our world is becoming more unsafe every day.

As I read my words, I sound like an alarmist, and a pessimist.  But am I?  My 9 year old granddaughter stayed with me a few nights, and she came out of her room crying, worried about someone coming in the window to hurt her.  She has experienced nothing in her life to cause her to be afraid of such a thing.  It seems that all of us are becoming more afraid, perhaps of some unknown, unnamed boogie man. 

Where are we headed?  And how can we stop the fallout of living in such an unsettled world?   

such a little thing

A teen I know had a birthday on Sunday.  I gave her a "serious" card and a little gift.  Then I dropped a "funny" card into the mail.  She sent a short test to say thank you, but later sent another text, saying that it was the most she had received on her 18th birthday.  My humble little gift was of little monetary value.  But I remembered her, and took notice of her special day.

This teen is like so many others who are short of cash and life skills and are lacking the family and community supports which will help them as they stumble around life as an adult.

A small gesture, even a silly birthday card, can make a big impact on older teens who are struggling with the many challenges facing them.  I encourage anyone reading this to look for an opportunity to take notice of a kid who needs a boost, a smile, a dollar, a ride, a meal, a pat on the back or a crumb of positive attention.  We all gain when our young people do well.   

I hope that  

missing teddy

Tears fell from eyes while I watched the remembrance video about Ted Kennedy during the Democratic Convention this past week.  I miss him more than I knew.

What a fighter. What an orator.  What a consistent voice for the powerless and voiceless. 

With all the political snarking and distortions we are subjected to every day, it is tempting to tune it all out.  Yet this is exactly the time to be more aware.  It is our own best interest we need to watch out for. 

Teddy knew how to make a deal with those who opposed him without selling out or giving up on the ideals of what is fair and just.  Teddy is a good example of seeing the difference between a statesman and a mere politician.

kudos to kluwe

Courage and inspiration appear in surprising places.  I tip my hat to pro football's Chris Kluwe as he takes a public stand against oppression.

Oh, that others, whose societal status creates opportunity for their views to influence others, would raise their voices to rally against discrimination and wrongdoing.  Not only celebrities, but other community leaders as well - ministers, mayors, business moguls, doctors, police officers scout leaders and others - who are in a position to call out those who actively work to suppress anyone's civil rights. 

 Thank you, Chris Kluwe, for speaking out in opposition to bias.

  

two trips to the landfill

My friends roll their eyes when I tell them, joyfully, that I have been to the landfill.  What is wrong with them?  This weekend, I went twice!  Two load of brush, branches, leaves, limbs and vines.  Every trip to the landfill means hours of work and tangible production.

In my childhood, the landfill was called the dump.  My dad would occasionally bring us with him when he hauled a load of junk there.  It was a strange and mysterious place, filled with trash and treasures.  You just never knew what you might see in the piles of debris. It smelled bad at the dump, and dad always warned of the hazards of stepping on broken glass and sharp metal.  Hundreds of gulls circled above as they looked for their own treasures.  I don't recall salvaging anything from the "discard pile" but it was amazingly intriguing to look, just in case you might find something wonderful. 

Part of the fun was just going somewhere with my dad.  The daughters of the family were often delegated to do the "girl" chores at home.  So, going to the dump felt like a privilege!  Weird to think of it that way now, but I still get a little thrill going there.

It is somehow very satisfying to get sweaty and dirty filling up the back of the truck, and then driving to the dump with the windows open and the radio blaring.  My friends don't know what they are missing!     

half tag

Sarah tagged me, and here are the answers to her questions. 

1.  Before blogging, did I write in any other formats?
Yes, but intermittently and privately.  I have gone through spells of journaling, and writing bad poetry!  I had a blog in the past, but didn't keep up with it for some unknown reason. 

2.  Why did I start blogging?
Sarah inspired me.  She shared her blog with me, and it got me thinking of how I enjoyed it in the past and thought I would give it another go.  Sometimes this blogging business is a place to vent or lament.  Other times I use it as a resource because it allows me to read interesting posts by others for motivation and inspiration. 

3.  Did I stop reading blog because the writer's grammar or spelling made me crazy?
Yes.  The occasional typo has no impact on me, but consistently poor language skills makes me annoyed.  I lose the content because I am so distracted by the errors.

4.  Have I met the author of a blog that I follow?
No.  I admit to being intrigued by certain authors, however, and wish that I could meet them in person.

5.  What is the best thing I ever ate?
That is a tough one.  Fresh shrimp, right out of the gulf, cooked over a barbeque grill, perhaps?  One dish that is on my mind right now is an Icelandic dessert, made with layers of cookie crust and spiced prunes.  Not only is it delicious, but it is especially sweet in my memory because my dear friend, Lois, made it once a year and always shared some with me.  It was filled with love, and we ate it together with cups of tea in her kitchen. Over this past weekend, I tried to duplicate it, and because it needs to "age" in the fridge for a few days, it is sitting there tempting me to try it.  Like right now!  Whether it ends up being anywhere close to her work of art has yet to be seen, but every bite will remind me of Lois.

6.  Where would I go for a week, by myself with a Visa card?
I would go wandering through Manitoba to look up some old relatives.  I would time my trip to coincide with the Winnepeg Folk Festival because it is a blast!  Music, folk dances, art.  Cool.  I got yelled at by a pedestrian in Winnepeg because I was too slow in observing her in the crosswalk!  She let me have it in French, and who knows what she said, but I knew I had committed a major violation.

7.  What is my biggest pet peeve of all time?
I am hugely annoyed by hearing people eat when I am not eating.  All that crunching, slurping, chewing and swallowing drives me crazy!  I know I make the same noises when I am eating, but when it is just one person doing it, I find myself being impatient.

8.  Have I visited a place and felt like I belonged there?
I feel that way about South Carolina, specifically the area near Hilton Head Island.  I have been there several times, and yearn to return.  The beach, the vegetation (live oaks, spanish moss, palms, flowers) and the charm of the old southern buildings - I like it all.  And Savannah, Georgia, which is nearby, is always a treat.

9.  Do I prefer to pack my own groceries or have them bagged for me?
No real preference, although it is totally disappointing when my bananas get bruised!

10.  How large was my graduating class?  Did I attend any class reunions?
The 1971 Senior Class of Buffalo, MN had about 130 students.  I tried the reunion thing twice.  At the five year reunion, I ended up getting sick, going to the hospital, and my husband (who did not attend my school) went to the reunion and got drunk!  What???  Then I went to the ten year gathering, and I vowed to avoid any future reunions for the rest of eternity.  No fun, too much idle chat with folks with whom I had nothing in common except our alma mater, bad food, blah, blah, blah.  My college friends are much more meaningful to me, and I keep in touch with several of them.

11.  How do I feel about salon care - coloring, hair styling, pedicure, massage, facials?
I get my hair cut when it gets shaggy, and back in the day, I would get the occasional perm to make my fine, straight hair have some life.  I am permanently out of the perm business!  And I postpone a haircut until I can't tolerate it any longer, and I am tempted to take the scissors after it myself.  I don't do nails.  I don't do facials.  I don't do massage.   What I have learned to love is eye brow waxing!  It is the most amazing act of self-indulgence that I can think of!  Well, almost...

This is only "half tag" because I am not tagging anyone else!       

the surprises of decluttering

Well, my project is not finished, but I made a nice dent in clearing out some old crap, and what nice little surprises I found along the way.  Like the passport renewal form that I meant to send in awhile ago.  And the photo of the river that I wamt to get framed.  Oh, and the mother's day card from my granddaughter.  Nice!

I threw away the overgrown ivy that was sitting on the ledge, along with the root-bound philodendron.  I filled up a bag of paper going to the recycling bin.  I ditched some old receipts and junk mail.  Way too much junk mail.

Feels good. 

Now if the mail man would stay away for a week or so.....

the clutter

I hate to admit it, but I am a clutterbug.  I don't like it, and it overwhelms me, but I have a problem with "stuff."  It is mostly the mail, and pieces of paper that seem like they should be kept for some unknown reason.  So, today, I started atttacking some of my clutter.  I tried to figure out why I am so indecisive when it comes to throwing out the stuff I get in the mail.  It is like I want to think about it a little while before I toss it out.  Those envelopes can can tossed when they have sufficiently aged on my counter top, but not one day before.  On days like today, I give myself a good talking to.  "Stop it," I say.   "Don't do that anymore."  "Make a damned decision about the stupid mail," I scream at myself. 

I LOVE AN UNCLUTTERED COUNTERTOP.  Another mantra I will add to my list of chants. 

aahhh, Melissa

I had the pleasure of seeing Melissa Etheridge in concert over the weekend.  Total fun.  She sang her heart out, and gave us just enough old stuff to make us happy, and enough new stuff to intrigue us for the new album coming out soon.  The crowd was enthusiastic and appreciative of her presence and her proficiency at playing her guitar.

It has been eight years now since her breast cancer put her in the spotlight.  She looks great, and sounds happy in her life.  She speaks of the need for humans to be happy, and to treat our bodies well. 

Total enjoyment. 
 

On mindfulness

I work at living in the moment, but I often fail.  It is hard to be mindful, and to live in the moment when so many things are tugging at my consciousness.   I know this is a common complaint for anyone trying to be more aware of the "now."  And yet, in the real world, at work for example, how does one be mindful when there are so many tasks and deadlines to manage?  So many pressures, from so many directions, and so many phone calls, and, and, and...



 

sugar, or the lack thereof

I have had it!  I am tired of being a slave to sugar.  It grabs me like a stranger in a dark alley, and makes me do terrible things!

I am working on mindful eating, and it takes a lot of energy.  I am realizing how I often I eat food without thinking about it.  If it is there, I eat it.  I am trying to embrace the feelings of feeling hungry, and eating because my body needs nutrition, rather than eating simply because I like to, or because it tastes good. 

So, here's to mindfulness, in eating and all things.  Mindful of the moment, appreciating who I am, where I am, and what I am doing.  Here's to casting off the sugar albatross around my neck, and feeling more free to be my authentic self. 

the walking drudge

I read Judy's blog about walking to work, and I so relate to feeling out of shape.

I know walking is good for body and soul.  It is achievable any time of day and it costs nothing but time, and a good pair of shoes.  So why do I avoid it so?  I like walking for about the first five minutes, and then I start thinking about all the other things I would rather be doing.

I have told myself that if I only walked three times a week, that is 300% more than I was walking before.  Who can argue with a 300% improvement!!  So I am giving it a good shot. 

I suppose walking to the Dairy Queen doesn't count.....

thanks and credit

I have been meaning to say thank you to whoever took the photo I am using on my profile.  I have no idea who took it, and I use it without permission, but I love it so.  I hope the photographer will grant me a pass on using the photo, which totally pleases me every time I see it.

a stranger in a strange land

I don't recall the source of the language in the title of my blog today.  But the words fit the experience I had today.

I took a walk to enjoy the glorious day, and to get some exercise, which isn't a big whoop, except to me, on my quest to lose a little weight and lower my blood pressure. 

I ventured out in the late afternoon, encountering snow, ice, puddles and mud.  The air was juicy with smells, which told little secrets about the people living in the houses as I walked by.  Someone was drying clothes, and the odor of dryer sheets was amazingly strong.  It hit me like invisible cloud of chemicals, and I cringed at the thought of breathing in someone's laundry.  The odors of french fries cooking in the local cafe, and the exhaust from an old beater of a car mingled together in my nose.  Someone was grilling burgers, and it smelled suddenly like summer!  The melting snow piles exposed the earth and the smell of mud was prevalent and pleasing.

The sounds of dogs barking, and neighbors calling out to each other startled me, as the noise came suddenly and out of now where.  The street lights started popping on, buzzing more loudly than I remember from last year.  I heard kids at the skate park, whooping and laughing.  Melted snow was running into the street drains and sounded like someone left the faucet on at the sink. 

This sensory adventure happens to me every year.  I avoid the cold of winter, so I spend my time indoors.  And I live alone, so I am surrounded my quiet in my home.  This explosion of human activity seems new and foreign to me in the springtime when it hits my ears and nose, so unexpectedly.  It seems that the world, and I, are waking up together and crawling out of our dens.  Of course, it is only me that is new to this strange new world.  The world has been awake all along. 

the beauty of sleep

I prefer to stay up late, and get up late.  I have early-bird friends, and I always wonder how they do it!  I always have to drag myself out of bed, and force myself to resist the urges to hit snooze - well, OK, just one more time!

The past two nights I went to bed about two hours earlier than normal.  Oh, the beauty of sleep.  Although I still did not want to get up right away, it felt good to feel more rested than I usually do. 

I would live a happier life if I could get up when I naturally woke up instead of using an alarm.  Add a few more 3-day weekends into the mix, and I could claim a blissful existence.   Until then, I guess I will have to snuggle in earlier...

women are getting it

It is gratifying to see that women are fighting back against the ridiculous idea of restricting women's health care.  Congratulations to the silent, and not so silent protesters in Virginia, who are making a huge impact on the legislative process there.

I totally support the right for the "faithful" to avoid using birth control, if that is important to them.  But their beliefs should not overrule the beliefs of others who don't share the same dogma.  Thankfully, we do not live in a theocracy.  Although it appears that Rick Santorum, and those of his ilk, would try hard to make it so. 

I was raised in an evangelical church.  We were taught to spread the "Good Word" to others.  However, I never was trained to believe that Christianity should trump the beliefs of all others.  (Don't get me started on how my grandmother viewed the Catholics, however.)   It seems that, of late, many Fundamental Christians are less and less tolerant of any other viewpoint than their own.  It seems that religion has gone to their heads!  The Jesus that I learned about as a child, would likely disapprove. 

I no longer participate in any organized religion.   But it doesn't stop me from trying to live by the Golden Rule, which is really just advice about putting yourself in other people's shoes, and walking a mile in them.  I also subscribe to the basics of being honest, and treating my parents respectfully. 

It would seem obvious that any religious tenet, taken to the extreme, becomes less like religion and more like a mechanism of power and control.  Many examples of this exist throughout time.  Today, when we think of ourselves as "evolved" and "sophisticated," how is it that we are still arguing about birth control, and the ability of women to control their own bodies?   

It will be up to women

I am in disbelief one minute and totally angry the next when I hear the talk about restricting women's health services.  Who in their right mind would seriously think about banning birth control? 

Although I disagree with folks who want abortions to be totally illegal, at least I can understand the moral ground they are defending.  But birth control?? 

Women need to stand up, and speak up about their own health care and reproductive rights.  Deja vu of the '60's and '70's.  Been there, done that.  Men need to also stand up to say that any thought of banning contraception is idiotic.

State of Virginia?  What are you thinking?     

back in the groove

Last week, I encountered a bad head cold, which has not happened to me for a long time.  It knocked my socks off.  (See previous blog entry about a little germ taking people down.)  I was out of the office for a couple of days, and the boss was gone, and the phones were way too busy and work piled up and... and....and.... Whew!

So today, I am trying to get back in a groove.  Plenty of work to do, but at least I can actually show some productivity!

I haven't blogged for a few days, and it seems very similar to any good thing that you stop doing for a while - it's hard to back into it.  Such as going to the gym, and then life gets complicated.  After a few days of laying off, it is hard to haul one's behind into the gym to restart the groove. Even when you know it is good for you.

scale phobia

There may be a scientific name for my phobia:  getting on a scale. 

Our agency initiated a "biggest loser" event for the purpose of motivating folks to lose weight and get healthier.  I am totally in favor of both of those goals.  I want to lose weight and feel healthier.  I think about it every day, multiple times a day.

Unfortunately, I have a horrible aversion to the scale, which of course, boils down to being ashamed of myself.  I cannot overcome the notion of getting "weighed in" and having someone record my weight.  I don't want to know what the number is, let alone have someone else know it, and record it in ink.  So no "biggest loser" for me. 

Shame is a powerful emotion.  I am overcome by it.  It is that part of myself that I need to shed.  As much as the actual pounds, I need to shed the old junk that helps me carry around my shame like a shroud. 

fragile and strong

Human beings are so surprisingly strong and weak at the same time. 

People can endure hardships that seem beyond survival.  Accidents, disease, malnourishment, torture...name the challenge, and you will find examples of humans finding a way to overcome the worst circumstances that could be imagined. 

And yet, humans are fragile.  A little germ, a seemingly innocent bump on the head, a stray bullet or a small clot can quickly kill a previously vibrant being.  A broken heart can take down the strongest of us.   

SOTU

I tend toward being an optimist and an idealist.  With that framework in mind, you can see how I would be pleased about President Obama's speech last night. 

There really is no end to what can be accomplished when people put their minds to it.  The old adage about a little inspiration combined with a little perspiration is so true.  There was plenty of inspiration in the SOTU address.

I enjoyed watching the sourpuss faces of the Red Team.  And the episodes of clapping by some of the Republican leaders, only because they knew the cameras were on.   

Speaking of optimism, can anyone not be inspired by Gabrielle Giffords?  What a fighter and a vision of determination.  I hope she feels the love and good wishes for her future from the masses.

And I send love and good wishes to the masses today, because we all need a little more love.

too many passwords

I tried to get information from one of my health insurance systems today by going to the website.  But I forgot my "username."  The process of trying to find my user name and password was so complicated, you would think I was trying to hack the computers of the CIA. 

I am told that it is important to regularly change your password for security.  But don't write it down so someone else could find it.  And don't make your password obvious. Well, I understand all this in theory.  But, honestly, how does one keep track of all those different codes and passwords?  I am on password OVERLOAD!! 

Any day now, there will be a mini-quiz which will identify that problems remembering your passwords is a symptom of the early onset of something horrible.  Sign me up for the "How to Enhance Your Memory" class.  I think I have that Something Horrible.  Wait a minute...I think I remember reading about a treatment for Something Horrible.....yes, I remember now....the treatment starts with a day home from the office, a glass of cabernet and a rice krispie bar.  I am all about wellness!    

Adios Uncle Jim

My Uncle Jim has been in my thoughts a lot the past few days.  He was my dad's oldest sibling, and I always loved him.  He had a thick head of hair that he combed back in perfect, silver waves.  He had a crooked smile and shockingly blue eyes.  He had a bad knee, and he was always a little crooked when he stood up. When our families got together, he always spoke to me about things he knew were important to me.  He was a cowboy/rancher who loved his horses.

My dad was the youngest of seven.  He died six years ago, and there are only three siblings left.  My cousins and I see each other more often these days - at the funerals.

I am pleased that Jim has moved beyond the physical realm.  I hope he will send a signal to me from the other side - a message of love to the niece who is missing him. 

Open...and more open

Open.  More and more open.  That is one of the mantras in a meditation that I do sometimes.  I desire to be more open.  More transparent and less guarded.  I have made efforts to consciously remind myself to be emotionally available to others in a way that is usually uncomfortable.  It is all about stretching and reaching and expanding.   And trusting that I will be safe in that new space.

Open.  More and more open.

Allowing, not controlling.  Accepting and inviting. 

Open.  More and more open.

mass consciousness

I have heard more and more often that we, the collective we, are one consciousness.  That one person's energy impacts the energy of the whole.  How cool is that?

Think of the possibilities of changing our world, merely by changing our thoughts. 

On a small scale, I know this is true.  One only needs to walk into a room and sense the mood.  Tension hangs like heavy drapery in the atmosphere, and it is immediately known by someone entering the space.  Excitement is tangible when you encounter it.  The "buzz" in the air is not a mere phrase, it is a phenomenon that spreads through a crowd and changes people's attitudes and behaviors.

If, on a small scale this transfer of energy is measurable, then it is true on a global scale as well.  One person choosing truth over dishonesty, kindness over criticism, or love over hate raises the universal vibration will raise up the united energy stream.  There is no end to its power. 

It sounds too simplistic to be true.  One person, changing the universe by merely choosing goodness?  Mind blowing.  Imagine what could be accomplished if, consciously and collectively, we all sent love into the world one time, every day. 

I pledge to send love and light into the universe every day at 9:00am.  Feel free to join me.  Let's change the world.

substance or drivel

I have so many thoughts running through my head.  Thoughts that should be put into words.  Amazing how those words seem to vanish when the fingers hit the keyboard. 

I am not a talkative or chatty person.  My friends have sometimes wondered why I am so quiet, and they ask me if I am OK.  Others have considered me to be secretive because I listen more than I speak, especially in a group.  Even in a group of friends who I trust and adore.  I consistently reassure them.

Where all those words that swim around in my brain, but don't get said out loud?  Perhaps better left unsaid. To speak, just to fill a gap, or to go on and on without really saying anything, seems like a waste of time and oxygen.

To listen is to learn.  To hear - really hear - is a gift the listener gives to the speaker.  

word of the day : duplicity

I looked this word up today, and I thought I knew what it meant.  Wrong.  The dictionary defines this word as:  hypocritical cunning or deception; double-dealing.  Who knew?

I thought duplicity would mean that something could have two meanings or purposes or versions - as in the word duplicate.

OK.  I have known people who are cunning and deceptive.  They make me nervous.  Their words and their actions make me feel like they are smarter or sharper than I am.  Like I am a step or two behind, and probably won't really catch up.  The trouble with people who are cunning, is that they are often looking for the angles, or the advantages.  And they strategize, plot and plan.  Not necessarily for evil purposes, but they definitely have their wheels turning faster than mine will ever go. 

emerging flower

Similar to a crocus peeking out of the snowy earth in April, with all its promise of longer, warmer days ahead, I am watching my friend sprout with new life.  Her recent life challenge has led her to some new discoveries about herself, and she is open to growth in new and surprising ways.  I don't think she knows how her face has changed, or how she smiles more often.  Like a shiny bauble, she reflects light that only observers can see.

ahh, the end of the day

Is there anything more pleasing than shutting down the computer at work, and walking out the door?  Hopefully with some sense of satisfaction of good work done.

Solely by going home and shedding the work duds, the stress of the day vanishes, and a new vibrancy takes over!  It's like getting a make-over in 60 seconds or less.

I have long said that this world would be a kinder, gentler place if workers could have more 3-day weekends. 

This is not a complaint about working.  Rather, a statement about having more balance between work and play.  Work and rest.  Work and anything else that rejuvenates the spirit. 

  

where is the courtesy?

Manners.  We don't use them as often as we used to, and it is troubling.

- Drivers pulling out in front of traffic.
- Eaters throwing their fast food waste on the highway.
- Anonymous critical posts everywhere on the internet - words that people might  not say face to face to those they are lambasting.
- Intolerance of those who are "different."  Homosexuals should be executed???   Really?  Arab Americans and Muslims should be forced to leave our county because they can't be patriotic Americans?  Huh??  Kids going hungry in our own community?  What??

This overt rudeness seems to be more prevalent of late.  Or perhaps I saturated and can't take it anymore. 

It is hard to tell if society has rubbed off on the politics of our nation, or if  politics has given people permission to be openly sanctimonious and and mean.  Whatever the cause, we, as a people, are out of sync with what most of us were taught about courtesy and kindness toward others, including the "others" that we don't understand, or the "others" that look and live differently than most.

I suggest more efforts toward "doing unto others" and looking for opportunities to do good deeds.  God knows, we need more kindness. 
   

it's been a long time

Several years ago, I created a blog, and somehow abandoned it, thinking that I didn't need it.  Love had gone sour, the ex came back to town, life stunk.  Who needed that dark blog space, anyway??

A friend is now blogging, and after reading her posts, it made me long for my old space.  So, here I am again.  Happy to be back.

Sarah, thanks for the inspiration.

my secret self

Writing.  A passion and a curse.

In my secret inner self, I am a prolific writer.  Words flow out of me as easily as sap from a maple in the spring.  My words have meaning and magic.  People can't wait to read my next edition.  My words are as savory and sweet as that most memorable entree and dessert in that wonderful out-of-the-way place you discovered by accident one day last summer.  I astound myself with my brilliance.

Then there is the real me, who thinks alot of things, but who lacks eloquence, and can't find the right expression at the most crucial of moments. 

I love to read so much....  Why can't I write like all the authors I love so much?

It seems that the words lose their luster once on the page because... well... what if I am the only one who sees their beauty and their significance?  What if the only thing I write is a pile of crap?  The shame of it all.

Enough shame.   Bring on the words!